Quote:
Originally Posted by Addy
Hi again Hope 
My gosh, I see myself in your children - except for one important factor... I didn't have you for a mother.
It was in the 60's - my mom took me, my sister and brother (aged 9, 8 and 7) to a city 500 miles away... told us we were going on a vacation.... not telling us that we were leaving our alcoholic Dad.
She wasn't a mother who had any depth to understand the effect this would have on her children. She simply couldn't understand and I forgive her. I have a great bond with my sister and thank God we can talk about this together.
Hope, I am amazed at your insight... ! Thank goodness your children were born in another place in time... and they have you!
Continue to be brave  |
Wow, this one's tough. Hearing it from a child who's been through it. I am sure your mother loved him and was desperate as I was to try to hang in there for the children's sake. Do you have any contact with your father now?
I tried for years to get him to scale back, but then he was hiding it. He was a completely difffernt person when drinking. He was a very outstanding person and people really loved him and looked up to him. But as time went by, he escalated to "out of control". After he lost his job, he would sleep 3 hours then be up 3 hours drinking like a fish and then again sleep and then again drink and then again sleep..... He would beat the children if they were not silent during his sleeping times. Whether it be 1pm or 4pm in the afternoon, the children had to be silent! After I had fled the home, he told everyone that I had taken the children out of their beds in the middle of the night in their jammies and left. When in actuallity it was at 2pm in broad daylight and I had even skipped the little one's nap. He had gone back to bed at 11am after his drinking binge and this was usually when he took the then 3 year old back to bed with him and beat her when she wouldn't go to sleep so he could. It was my day off and I knew his pattern of every three hours of sleep then drink. So, instead of him being alone that day to watch them, I was off work for the day and set in to packing 2 big bags of clothes and necessities and even dog food for my ailing siberian husky. The team of estrogen (even the dogs a girl
) left and didn't know where to go. I found a motel that would accept dogs and we stayed there that night. Fearing the worst, I called the police to let them know I am not a missing person, nor my children and had chose to leave given the circumstances. They actually thanked me so they wouldn't be waisting time looking for me had he reported me missing! From there it was a day to day thing. One of my friends sheltered us for 5 days. The rest of the time we spent at the motel until the judge ordered him out of our home so I could return with the children.
Your mother did the right thing and you are a better person because of it! And more knowledgeable. I hope you have stayed close with your mom. She did what she did at that time because she knew she must for your welfare. That is all I tried to do and now have to live through the outcome. Unfortunetly I cannot shake the last few years of my life and continue to dwell on them. Emotional healing??? I don't know, but staring at all our stuff that has followed us through the years is not helping. I am on a mission to sell everything I own and start anew. Even my children want new beds! Wow! If that is the only thing on their mind right now, so be it!
Thank you for sharing such a traumatic part of your life. I wish you were here as I can totally relate.
Oh, one more thing, thanks for changing my name and outlook on life