arrgh, nhope, I actually meant to say to you that there is no substitution for being physically next to the person you are talking to - no where will you get more appreciation than here, but we can NOT give you the satisfaction of having talked about it with someone "live" as in physically with you - it's really hard to do, but you feel like you have so much more perspective after you find a couple of people worth telling them about what's going on. It's the reason that those who can afford talk therapy still try to get it, too - it's very satisfying to look someone straight in the eye and be able to talk about something difficult - you are always a little less overwhelmed after you have done it. When I have more time I will try to tell you more clearly what I am trying to say - I'm sorry that I'm more wordy than I should be!
And David - what is up? Don't you realize how special you are? You are so precious to so many people because you decided you not only wanted to still try, but are the kind of person who tries to give nhope some more perspective. Talk about hard! I think you are as good as it gets in this world, so straighten up and be proud of yourself for what you did with your entry on this board, and I suspect for who you are in general. I certainly hope to find out!
Later,
Jane