Lara,
I see what you're saying when you discuss past issues. Yes, that's a hard one at times. It goes back to a post I made a while back about time, consistency and fairness hopefully allowing for healing. It will take time, I think.
As far as the friend/moderator comment. Doc John has posted pretty clear guidelines which pretty much puts the poster's experience literally at their own fingertips. Any action a moderator would make would be one based on those guidelines and the understanding/discussion of the same as opposed to personal feelings, friendships, hard feelings, etc.
It really works out well. There will undoubtedly be mistakes and misunderstandings as we all learn and build this community. It's what we make of those that counts the most.
Also, I think it's very important for members to know that they can always discuss issues with other moderators/administrators if they feel they're not getting what they need/deserve in any certain situation.
This all requires possibly some extra work...a few extra steps, a few extra discussions, a few extra inquiries. I think our members and moderators are more than willing to go that "extra mile" to see a positive outcome. It's so worth it, I think.
Respectfully,
KD