Alffe,

It is a subject that many find very fearful to speak the word suicide, not to mention the devastation it leaves behind. Many think that a person that commits suicide is selfish, I once thought that, until a very dear friend took his life. He left behind his wife and two small children. However, his wife told me that it was a relief in some ways, she was angry that he would such a thing to himself. She was relieved because she would not have to face the struggles of living with his many mood swings. Some said she probably did it herself, others said she drove him into doing the deed.

I say, he was a man that needed help and no one realized just how much until it was too late. That each of us have our own faults, whether we are angry, relieved or whatever emotion and therein lies the problem of why people will not talk about suicide or the feelings it leaves behind. The fear of being judged the same as the loved one that is no longer here. People still, with all the other troubles in this world, put more emphasis on a person that takes their own life as a "crazy, selfish, stupid and the list goes on" person rather than one who was hurting so much, that hope was gone.

I do hope that people will answer your post, because the only way to work through the feelings is to deal with them....one at a time until healing or some sense of peace is found.

I think of my friend often and in that moment of him pulling the trigger, I doubt anyone could have saved him, not knowing is what we live with and what we have to come to terms with in order to continue along the path.

To those that are keeping your feelings locked inside...think about letting them out, to rid yourself of the darkness that is disrupting your life so that you might once again enjoy the day each one as it comes.

Thank You Alffe for such a thread.