I have anxiety,panic,pain in my chest from chronic anxiety,OCD,depression,and now I'm out of work at 55,and cannot stand to many people because I had a dad who was most abusive with his flairs of anger,I was bullied at school,I was bullied at private school,I've been bullied at work over,and over by Bosses,workers,and others who could do their bullying thing. Now I'm 55,cannot stand people at work,I don't want to go outside,the center of my chest is hurting from stress,and my muscles are pulling in that area,and right at this time,I almost wish that I was dead. I'm living out in the country in a family member's old vacant house,and they don't understand what's happening to me. I'm angry,depressed,scared,and don't want to have contact with people,and I react emotionally now to the slightest thing that someone might do that I think is a violation of my honor,integrity,who I am as a person,my work,my hobbies,the way I think,and respond. So far Social Security disability won't help me. I have a sister who is trying to help me,but she has no clue of what I'm going through. Right now I just hate life,and I'm just trying to live day,by day. I have no clue what to do. I know that I'm not crazy. I even got hurt by a pastor. He was young, and inexperienced,and let some missionary punch me in the stomach two times,to expel a demon. They said I was that way because I was on my Doctor's medication,and they could not help me because of it. That was about 20 years ago. Around that time when I woke up,I would immediately have a panic attack. My sister says that she notices that I seem to have a hard time processing my thoughts in the beginning of what I'm doing. That's been true all of my life. I failed two grades even though my IQ is upper average. My chest is hurting deep down now,and there isn't anything that I can do about it. I cannot get much help at all,and this condition isn't getting any better. It seems to be getting slightly worse as the years go by. People in society never have cared much about people who are emotionally hurting,even though we are no longer in the dark ages.They only help what they see if they help at all. It's not fair.