Thanx GNP for your thoughts and suggestions.

I have learned so much from others here, but you're right, a lot of what I have learned I have figured out for myself because of my desire to one day heal while still actively moving through life, as difficult as it is. (With family, work and friends)

Please don't misunderstand me though... I really have accepted the fact that pain is almost always present in my life (for now). But I just can't bring myself to call it a friend. In fact, I'd like to get a Restraining Order against it and keep it as far away from me as possible!

Imahotep,
Your approach of ignoring it is exactly what I do to get me through it all as well. I keep myself busy and focus while trying to keep the pain in the distance. I use this method of coping with my every day "challenges" (Known as "tasks" in the outside world) It's very useful, I completely agree.

I've been pretty proactive in seeking my recovery through diet, therapy, support and my ever faithful, inner strength. I know I'm giving things up for the 'possibility' of feeling better. Possibly feeling better is what drives me actually!

So anyways...
I feel this way about frustration. Having pain constantly and then having to give up anything that is enjoyable is frustrating. I, personally, really think it's okay to be frustrated at that!!!! (Especially when it the recovery your aiming for doesn't seem to be in sight)

I'm really not beating myself up over not eating Sushi earlier in life, or anything else I haven't done up until now. (I was trying to be cute...guess it didn't work )


I can't lie to anyone..My armor and shield were in storage from previous battles fought and won. I don't like the fact I have to get them out again. This rival I have, RSD, was not invited by me. I did nothing to indicate it was welcome in my body. The fact is, It just stormed in along with all it's little painful soldiers invading my 34 year 'young' self and deforming all of my limbs. Still, I believe that I have RSD, it does not have me, therefore it's not me I'm mad at. It's genuinely RSD!