It sounds like you are dealing with depression. As someone else said we have a great depression site here. There are also other sites that will help you such as the Survivors of Suicide. I don't know how your health is but you might be dealing with some medical issues such as Fibromyalgia or Cronic Fatigue Syndrome. Depression does not always hang by itself.

I deal with depression, have since the day I was born I guess. I know exactly what you are going through.

I am glad you have those 3 beautiful kids and they are lucky to have you so don't ever forget that.

I hope you have thought about seeing your family Dr. to see if he might get you on some depression meds. That would help you I think, also counceling if you feel you need it or if your Dr. does.

You will find a lot of great support here as I have said. Don't ever give up on yourself. You can get to that point again where you are happy and can enjoy those little ones.

Let us know if you need anything. PM me if you need to. I also have been known to talk to people on the phone. Of course they have helped me as much as I them but I enjoy the friends I have made here and you will too.

I hope you start having some better days soon and do stick around here with us.

Ada