I'm a mama, too, and a stepmama, and I want to tell you what I have taught my own children.

• Growing up means taking ever increasing responsibility for your own decisions. This means not only that you get to choose for yourself, but also that you have to bear the consequences of your choices.
  
• No one ever makes a decision with all the information available that they need to make the decision. There are always unknowns and, therefore, risks.
  
• You can choose how you feel. Anxiety is physiologically the same thing as excitement, and, apart from some illness such as a brain disorder or chemical imbalance, you can adopt a useful attitude, a self-defeating one, or something in-between. (If you are unable to adopt a positive attitude without just putting on an act, maybe it's time to discuss the possibility of depression with your doc. Or not. Something to think about.)
  
• If you keep doing the same thing in the same way, don't expect the outcome to be any different than it was before.
  
• We can only change or control ourselves, not other people and not Mother Nature. Depending on others involves risks, and only we ourselves can decide which ones to take.
  
• If we maked our decisions carefully and responsibly, with all the information we can find and all the honesty we are capable of, then when the future moment of terror comes we will be wise to trust the decisions of the self who made them with a clear mind and a cool head.

As a mother, what do you want to teach or model for YOUR children?

I hope there is something here which is of use to you or someone reading.

Best wishes,
Jaye