It is not your fault...I have been in this situation and for years I believed what I was told. I stayed stressed and felt that the flea on the dog was more deserving than I...

It took me a few more years to realize that the abuser was really the one with the problem...

Spell rats backwards and you will find what you are!!!
This was a word that caused me a lot of grief just turn it around and I will be hoping the best for you. Their behavior is inexcusable and I do hope you will find peace.