Hi Everyone..And a warm welcome to our new community members!

As I write this the PAN Forum is taking place in Wash D.C..I would have loved to go to see everyone, but no way could I make it this year..Hopefully next year I will be able to spend a couple of days there

It has been a chaotic week with plenty of drama, the kind I dont look foward to..I had to break up with my girlfriend..A week ago this past Thursday, she had some blood work done at her Drs office..She has fibromyalgia, and type II diebetes..She said they drew 4 vials of blood, and her Dr says they found morphine, vicodan, and codine in her blood, and she swears up and down that she didnt take the drugs..I have suspected she had a drug problem for a few months for sure, and alot longer possibly..She claims she needs narcodic pain meds for the fibro..I found out that narcodics are not the prefered treatment for fibro, because of the risk of dependency, and also because basically, narcodics dont work for fibro pain..I talked to some friends in the medical field, and they told me that the chance of a mistake in her bloodwork are 1 - 2%..very slim..So her Dr has made it impossible for her to get pain meds..Then this Wednesday afternoon she left me a message asking if she could use my credit card to get pain meds online..I dont think so!!..So I have learned from past experiences, that when you see a train coming..you get off the tracks, so I ended the relationship immediately..I have given her the benefit of the doubt long enough, and now theres little speculation left as to what has been going on..I feel sad..sadder than I think I should feel..but I guess that makes me human..My stomach has been churning for days, and I know it will stop, when its time for it to stop, and I will be at peace again..Like having pd isnt enough..I certainly dont need this crap

I went to an AA meeting last night with my friends who were concerned about me, and picked me up at my house..I always feel better about whatever is going on in my life after a meeting..My emotions are raw from my pd, and when I get sad and upset, they increase 10 fold, and I get more symptomatic..They read this passage at the meeting from our text book that I have heard and applied to tough situations in my life many, many times..And it reads:..

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

And of course:..

"God, grant me the sernity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

Amen"

That always puts things into perspective for me everytime

I hope your week was better than mine