I am not a big med person and when my pain gets out of control mom has to encourage me to take a vicodin. She feels bad cause doesn't want to be a drug pusher but also doesn't want me to suffer. I guess when I have chosen to take it I had to work through the why I felt it was bad. Of course these drugs like opiates and narcotics I feel have there own issues and why I fear them but I think weighing the benefits vs the negative at the time to get you through the time. Also to realize there is a HUGE diference between someone in hell pain and needs these meds then the person who just takes them and has more addiction issues. I have mixed feeling on the scs. The doc who wanted to gave me a video and I did my research. If I can help you in any way please let me know. I think it was Dan on this board who talks abouth the fetnyl patch that he has been on and how he is not addicted but it gives him quality of life and the pros out weigh the cons. I saw a doc and he said that he would rather be on those drugs himself and not be in pain rather then be in pain with nothing but his first choice would be not to have the issue of course. I am sorry you have to drive so far and when I go to ucla its far so I understand. You don't have to decide now. I hope you find what works for you.