I have been hesitant to talk about this because I didn't want to upset anyone who is new in their grieving.

When Michael killed himself 18 yrs ago he left behind an 8 year old son. Michael had divorced his wife three yrs prior to killing himself but while he was still alive, he moved back in with us to save $$ while finishing up his college degree. He worked of course, had child support to pay and it costs money to fly your child clear across the country for visitation. It was extremely hard on both of them because they adored each other.

This is long...sorry. He graduated, got his own apartment, met a lovely girl and they planned to marry. While she was on vacation with her parents in Florida (a family tradition) he drank too much and killed himself with that dam gun.

In the immediate years following his death, we maintained a close relationship with our grandson..taking him on vacation with us, flying him in for visits but all this came to an abrupt halt when his mother, my ex daughter in law, decided to have more control of the situation. We sent gifts, letters, emails,
phone calls...for years we got nothing back.

I blamed her for years until I realized that our grandson was old enough to make his own decisions....he got married...twice...and this time he is a young daddy himself..making me a great grandma.

And my old anger raised it's ugly head!! Anger that Michael is missing out on the joy of being a grandparent and we are not a part of this new life.
The other grandma...the one in their town, has kept me informed. I think she was the one responsible for our getting a note and picture of the new one.

I responded saying, "I can't believe your dad would be a grandpa if he were still alive". Nothing! I sent a gift with a note saying "Your dad would be so proud!" Nothing!

I guess I am not supposed to mention his Dad...I can scarcely imagin how I would feel if I were 8 yrs old and my dad, who I adored, killed himself.

So I'm stuck again...filled with anger after all these years of being better.