I am so MAD, DISGUSTED, UPSET ....FED UP!

I can't take anymore.

I cried so much last night. I have got to have the worst luck in the world. Nothing goes in my favor...NOTHING! I had to testify yesterday for my workmans comp case. I did it over the phone. My attorney was supposed to call and brought me for less but he called me five minutes prior and didn't tell me anything. I had to testify because in October I took on a part-time job as a driver working about six hours a week. It was to drive elderly people to the store and wait for them while they shop and then bring them back to the facility. I thought I could handle that job and it least it was some kind of income. My attorney told me it was good because it shows I try to go back to work. I only lasted two weeks. At that point the pain was getting worse every day no matter what I did. The job also became more than what it was supposed to be like most jobs. These older people wanted help getting in and out of a vehicle and help with their shopping. Of course I was stuck at one point doing it and I immediately went to my supervisor told her no I will not do this. At the time I was also having bad dizzy spells and ear pain which was brought on from the TOS. I spent an entire day at the doctors office worried sick about what was wrong with me. The doctor told me I shouldn't be driving. I immediately called the office and left a message and I even called while waiting to see the doctor to let them know what was going on. Of course my supervisor was not in that day. I wasn't going to drive to work to tell him I couldn't drive now that would seem stupid. I was done working at that point. So yesterday I had to testify to this and now they are trying to say that my condition is from the job that job may be worse. My attorney asked us stupid question because he didn't prep me for the answer. He asked me if the pain was worse after I was done working. I answered yes. I didn't know how to answer that because he asked my pain was worse and I was having more problems that's why I sought out more help and ended up with surgery. He called me today to tell me I shouldn't have said that. What was I to say? My pain was worse every day no matter what and the job did aggravate my symptoms and that is why I left. I totally give up because no matter what I say it's not right.

So now my employer is still fighting my workman's comp case and dragging it out. Over a year now and going nowhere. Now they want to contact that employer who of course is ****** off at me because I quit so I worried as to what they are going to say. My employer's attorney wants to contact them to get information and call them to testify. This is ridiculous. I also stated yesterday that I informed my employer of my condition when I got hired. Of course my supervisor there was a complete idiot and I doubt she will remember anything. I did put it on the application though. I'm just worried that they will not help my case. Of course quitting a job without notice... the employer will not be happy. I doubt she would do anything in my favor. I called to say I quit and the same time she was telling me I was terminated because I didn't show up for work the day I was at the doctor's.

In the meantime we have medical bills close to $10,000 (that's with insurance) I just don't know what to do. My husband was assuming I was going to win this case by now. Honestly it doesn't look good. I should move to France or Canada a year ago. Health care here sucks and there is no help for people like us with medical conditions that aren't our fault!

I just saw on the news this morning that a couple in a restaurant was given $100,000 by an unknown man. He just wrote them out of check and they cashed it. Must be nice. I guess being born on Friday the 13th brought on bad luck.

I am also trying to cope with this incision on my neck. I hate it! I am also still having numbness around the incision whole right side of my jaw and shoulder. That may never go away. I cry every time I look in the mirror. I can't take it. I hate all this. It's so dam hard! The recovery is awful! This TOS destroyed my life!

Sorry for the venting! gotta go