((((((Comforter)))))),
I was assuming, from your original description, that you were transferring from the wheelchair to the toilet -- a 'short-distance' transfer.
It's sounding to me like you can't/don't take the wheelchair into the bathroom. Is that correct?? I got that impression because you mentioned getting behind her and walking into the bathroom.
What I was describing originally was the stand-pivot-transfer which is exactly what it sounds like. You stand in front of the patient and pivot and then assist them to sit down again. Sounds like you're already doing that, except for the little bit of walking in between the standing and the sitting.
Let's see if I can work this out for you a little better.
If you cannot bring the wheelchair into the bathroom so that you only have to transfer a 'short distance' from the wheelchair to the toilet, then we've got to figure out another way of doing this.
Here's some thoughts:
1. use a potty chair instead of the toilet-- I have the same reaction as you do -->> forget about that one.
2. put something inside the bathroom close to the entrance so that you can transfer her from the wheelchair to the 'something' and then to the toilet. This 'something' should be arm-less and have lockable wheels -- that could be something as simple as a small office stool with a rubber wheel chuck to prevent the wheels from moving while you're transferring.
3. If you are now able to get behind her and walk to the toilet from the bathroom entrance, I'm thinking this might be a good, inexpensive, safe way of doing it:
Easy Up Caregiver Lifting Aid This would allow you to use your own weight as a counter-balance to her weight -- so that you could stay IN FRONT of her and facing her the entire time that you're transferring her. Your weight as a counter-balance and your physical strength holding onto the handles would allow you more control than what you're feeling now in the moment when you switch from being in front of her to in back of her.
Let me know if that is what you're looking for. Hugs.
Barb