Dear Befuddled,

You are allowed to feel how ever you feel. These are your feelings. Embrace them. And you can ignore those people (including me!) that try to give you advice about how to deal with his passing.

Each case of divorce is different and I understand expecially about the part that you were divorced fairly recently.

I remember getting a lot of mean advice right after my divorce. A few of my friends thought that I was not following their version of the "rules" of how a person should behave.

And the truth is that we all know that there are no rules about how people should behave when they are grieving. And whatever a person is feeling is valid and right for them.

Mari