I would not worry about this TOO much right now. You know I had the surgery also, and prior to the surgery my range of motion STUNK. On my own, I could not raise my arms STRAIGHT OUT in front or to the sides higher than maybe my belly button. SOMETIMES I could raise them to my shoulder...but never any higher. After surgery, it was worse. I could ALWAYS raise them above my shoulder if I started - let me see if I can explain this right - with my arms bent in front of me, as if I'm in a "fighting stance," with my elbows bent and fists like under my chin. I can raise my arms straight up from THERE. But if I try to raise my arms with my elbows STRAIGHT, not bent, and go to the side into the air, or to the front into the air (both overhead) I cannot do it (even to this day, almost 10 months after surgery). I don't know if I ever will.

I don't know how long it took for me to get further. But I do recall having the same issues as you have directly after surgery. Where I couldn't raise my arm hardly at all without assistance. One of the things that really helped me was the exercise that pt had me do called "wall walking" or "finger walking" - and I don't know if your therapist has you doing this or not. You can actually do this yourself at home. It's simple, and I bet you can find a way to do it, and I bet you CAN do it, and you'll be amazed at how far you can go on your own. Basically what you do is stand about 6" from a wall at about a 45 degree angle, and "walk" up the wall with your fingers as far as you can go. And REALLY stretch. Get that arm up as far as you can go. Mark with a pencil how far you went. Each day get at LEAST that high...and try to go higher. You should get a bit higher every few days, or at least every week. I believe that's the exercise that worked best for me.

I don't think you are "hiding your pain." I think you have lost some muscle. And you need to learn how to use that muscle again. It's become "lazy." Once I started doing that particular exercise, and found that parts of my arm "hurt" that didn't hurt before, I realized it's because there were muscles there that I hadn't used in a while...that weren't USED to being used.

Try that and see what happens. Also try starting with your arms bent at the elbows in front of you, and see if you can raise your arms into the air, overhead, from THAT position. That will tell you if you are just not using the right muscles. As I said...I had the same issue....it's just a matter of retraining the muscles that you didn't use for so long. Don't panic. You'll be able to hug your babies again. It just takes time. It's a long, long road...

Hugs
LisaM