Hi,

I'm new here - both to MS, being sick, and to these boards (this is my first post).

I was dx with MS on January 4th. I went to a neurologist b/c I thought I had a pinched nerve in my face/jaw area, as the right side of my face had become numb over Xmas - and my dental specialist ruled out that it wasn't anything related to my TMJ problems. I had felt dizzy and had some brief vision problems a few days before I saw neurologist. I seriously had NO idea that I was *very* sick. Neuro said he thought I had a stroke (shocking news since I was just a few weeks shy of my 32nd birthday!). He rushed me for MRI - I told him he needed to get back to me that day - b/c if he left for the weekend without letting me know what was happening, I'd hunt him down...

Well, I guess I put us both in a crappy position - b/c come that afternoon - which was a Friday - the neuro called and said "It wasn't a stroke" - to which I took a deep breath - and then he said "you have MS" - to which I replied "what?" - and then he proceeded to talk for 12 minutes and I was completely out of my body (I checked the timer on phone when I hung up). I think it was the longest weekend of my life.

Within 48 hours of the diagnosis - I could had complete double vision and couldn't stand up straight, let alone walk b/c I was so dizzy. Everything started moving so fast - nurses to my house giving me IV steroids for 6 days...then oral steroids...then immediately started Copaxone. Doctors will not put me on any of the interferons as I have a terrible history of depression....and he told me from the start that I need to be on Tysabri, but that I needed to try Copaxone first.

Backing up a bit - crazy about it all - since I know so many people have spent years trying to get a positive dx here.....for me - there was a big glaring neon sign on my MRI that says "MS - dont miss me - i'm here" - i have multiple lesions - many active at the moment - as well as many black holes and grey/white spots. Several lesions are greater than 1cm in size...and I have something called "dawson's fingers" which are a hallmark of MS. I saw the MRI on the puter screen - and I still have nightmares from it. The neurologists I have seen have said that the MS was hidden for a while but now it is coming on strong and aggressive and it isn't being shy anymore.

As of Monday, it will be 30 days on Copaxone...and as I confirmed my delivery of the next box of the shots - I realized how badly I want on Tysabri - and is this a waste of time - b/c I know I need to be clean from Copax before starting. When I last saw neuro he said we should wait 3 months before starting Tysabri. I think that is b/c it is hard to get approved or whatever unless you fail the other meds. So I said - well what if I lied and said I had a bad reaction - and he said he couldn't lie...but he couldn't stop me. Meanwhile, two days later, i started having reactions to the darn shots.

The symptoms from the flare-up lessened quite a bit with the IV treatment - but that was 3 weeks ago - and in the last week - they have started coming back stronger - though not nearly as bad as they originally were. I have never gotten any feeling back in the right side of my face/head. Neuro said the steroids take time to work and that an exacerbation can take 2 months to go away.... I've been in this one, I guess, since Dec 22 (when the numbness started).

I'm sorry - I just realized how long this is - I think the shock of it all is wearing off - and I'm beginning to freak out. I had to go get a shower chair and walker this week I sleep a lot - though I take something for the fatigue (provigil - though it doesnt do enough even at 400mg a day). I feel like a piece of dead wood most days. I hate having these limitations - like if I do one errand a day - then I'm toast. My brain shuts down and I can't function anymore.

I guess the point of this is - why am I waiting to start Tysabri? I'm so NOT afraid of the risks - and I know it isn't a miracle cure - but the docs gave me such a bleak prognosis - I want to start this now and get going. I know copaxone is probably not strong enough for what I need - and I can't risk the interferon treatments. Should I start pushing my neuro to get me on Tysabri now and not wait the three months?

I'm feeling like a wreck. I feel the depression creeping in - I don't know if I'm strong enough to fight this all....

Glad these boards are here....and I certainly hope someone read this.... (sorry so long)

Thanks,

~Keri