This is a subject I know well. Before the pn I suffered from severe depression. I had been to many therapists,psychiatrist,meds etc. Even at times when my ed was better I suffered from depression at points I would not leave my home. During this time I had many blessing like you say but there was an inner sadness. Many times I felt I could not face my days. I knew in my life the way I was coping was not working and I had to change. The more you hide from this and stay in the harder the cycle is to break. I really believe if able to through the pain part that you should push through the mental don't want to. Even sometimes when you don't think it helps in the long run it may. As for therapy you are never to old and just because it didn't work in the past doesn't mean it can't now. I wonder if some is fear of having to face the issues and make a change. It may not be but sometimes it is. I spent many years in and out of treatment and the combo that worked for me was therapy but being proactive and pushing myself when I didn't want to and really digging deep on issue like my sadness,anxiety,lonliness etc.You deserve more and just because there is not a concrete like abuse doesn't mean there are not other things contibuting. Many hugs