Oh, I have one more little thing to add.

I think I've been depressed most of my life. I used food TO MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY. Food was my thing. I can't even imagine doing this NOW, because I've re-trained my brain not to think this way. Took some time, but coming on these boards, learning about diabetes, talking to people, etc. Well, I got it through my head that my eating was destroying me.

I remember happily pigging out in front of the tv with chips, dips, doodles, ding dongs. dong dings!!!! lol. You get the message.

When you self-medicate WITH ANYTHING, you no longer feel ANYTHING. And while this may be a temporary fix, in the long run, it ruins out health.

And even my own mother getting on my case all my life (since I was 12 or so), well that didn't do a darn thing for me besides make me eat more. She used to hide food in the closet. My mother was 5 feet tall and normal weight. My grandmother was 4 feet 11 and normal weight. EVERYBODY IN MY FAMILY WAS NORMAL WEIGHT. Except for me.

Do you have any idea what it is like to be the LARGEST member of your family? It ain't pretty, believe me.

And when I was 40 something, (and I thought I looked good at the time), we all went to Florida to visit my parents. We took our 8 year old son at the time. I was 300 lbs and a size 24 and a half. Want to know what my mother told my husband?? "how can you sleep with Melody, she's a fat pig".

Alan came running over to me and said "we're leaving now, I can't be around this woman". He wouldn't tell me what she said but I dragged it out of him later. I almost died. EVEN THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME GET HELP. No, I still ate in front of the tv every night.

I believe that depression makes us do all sorts of irresponsible stuff to our bodies and we pay for it in the long run.

So you start talking to people.. You get off the couch. (And if you have ding dongs and yodels in the house, throw them out).

If you are having a bad pain day, and you have a med for that, take it, and go for a walk, if possible. Get out in the sunshine. I try and do this every day.

I had to PUSH myself to really LOOK at myself. I never SAW myself truthfully. It's amazing how one can be obese and never fully SEE themselves.

We all have our BAD MOMENTS going on.

What really devastated me and Alan is our son's walking away from us and never looking back. Let me tell you something, If you think I didn't want to take a bag of chips and stuff my face in front of the tv over that one, believe me, I did. The night he left, I ate more cupcakes and ding dongs than you might think possible. I fell asleep all drugged out from all that sugar.

In my case, it took talking to people, getting it off my chest, going on gamanon forums, whatever it took, I did it. I spoke to my doctor, I remember crying in his office about my son. The poor guy didn't know what to do with me. He kept saying 'I'll give you an anti-depressant".

He did. I took Zoloft. Wow, that was a wonder. I didn't care what the hell went on in my life. I ate because I wanted to eat. I gained weight.

I told him, and we weaned me off of the Zoloft. I didn't want to take any more pills.

So I just reached out and learned about what was happening in my body.

I trained my brain to understand what food does to us and what is good and what is bad. You would have thought I might have done this 30 years ago, but I guess I wasn't ready.

Pain makes people feel awfully depressed. I know this. When my scoliosis acts up, it's like a lightening bolt between my shoulder blades.

But I sit it out and I go and walk. I lift 5 lbs dumbells so I can make my bones strong.

My mind is completely switched off to self-medicating with food now.

My mind is most definitely switched on to finding that perfect summer skirt to go with my pretty white blouse (which I neve was able to wear because I was 300 lbs).

It's amazing what a pretty skirt and blouse will do to one's ego.

So when you feel up to it, get off the couch and put your face to the sun and remember, we are your friends and we care!!!

Oh, and if this graphic doesn't put a smile on your face, NOTHING WILL!!!

It sure put a smile on mine. (and nothing is showing so it's legal).lol