Hi everyone

I want to thank everyone for all their replies and their well wishes. I really appreciate all your concerns. Last week was a very rough week for me! Every time my husband goes away on business things go nuts around here.

My last message was stating that I quit.... I guess I haven't quit but I am very frustrated. I did a lot of crying last week and really felt like giving up and honestly still feel like giving up. I feel like I've made no progress and I'm so damn tired of the pain! I thought the surgery was going to make things better but I am in more pain and having more trouble than I was before the surgery. This totally sucks!

Toby... I am 4 weeks post up today... I have the same exact numbness that you have. I have numbness all around the incision and up into the right side of my jaw, and in my shoulder and some areas in my arm. I have been worried sick about this. I called the doctor last week because I can pinch myself and I don't feel it. It is a very weird feeling. If I touch around the incision it hurts but yet is numb. Also, I have this weird bumpy feeling everywhere where it is numb. I have had other people feel it and it is creepy. It feels kind of like a rash but you can't see it. This skin is like a very dry and bumpy feeling and it's all over my neck, chest and shoulder. The doctor told me that this may all be permanent especially if it hasn't gone away by four weeks post up. Now I'm freaking out because it's four weeks and it has been going away... not even one bit better.

Yesterday I got so darn mad because the pain is so much worse. I have terrible pain in my neck going down into my shoulder and also upper back around the shoulder blade. It is the sharpest most awful pain. I can't get comfortable sometimes an all I want to do is cry. I can't even move my arm.
I can't even hold my husband's hand which I could at least do before the surgery. I cannot put my arm down. I can only hold it at waist level and my hand basically at my chest. It really stinks to not be able to move my arm in any direction other than towards my chest. I can't move it out or down. It feels like a pulley. I feel like my shoulder is keeping my arm from moving like a very tight pulley feeling and if I move my arm it will snap. It hurts so bad that I can't even get to that point. What the heck is going on?

The surgeon released the nerves and felt that I would have success from the surgery and get better. I think he was wrong. I am now starting to regret having it. Now I went through all this and have a nasty incision and all for nothing? I am on more medicine now than I have ever been in my life!

My doctor just upped my nerve medicine(Neurontin) to 300 mg 3x a day. I am still on the avinza (morphine) and ibuprofen. I tried to come off the morphine but I still can't tolerate the pain level.

I still can only wear button-down shirts and I live in pajamas. I got out of the house the other day to go to the store and that was difficult. Of course I didn't drive. This medicine makes me loopy and I can't even walk in a straight line. I then tried to go tour a school that my son is looking at attending next year... I didn't make it very long. I felt bad and I feel bad because I can't go anywhere and I can't drive my kids anywhere. They are going to be human popsicles walking to and from school.

Well I have to go rest my voice since I am using the voice software. Also my 18 year old stepson moved out last night so things are changing. My daughter is with my ex-husband and now we are down to four. I lost two kids in a month. It is just crazy. The 18-year-old decided to quit school last week and move out. I have no idea what his plans are for life but I guess that is his problem. We did everything we could.

Have a great day... momz