momz- I don't like the sound of the color changes from white to bluish purple, and not being able to move your arms is also not good...you should be able to do gentle range of motion exercises with yourself. Your pain medication should be making you confortable enough to gently move your arm. If it is not, you can end up freezing the shoulder joint and causing other problems.

Is Dr Togut anywhere in the same vicinity as you? Can you go and see him? he doesn't do surgery anymore but should be able to help you sort out what is going on. To me, the answers about numbness and skin irritation from your surgeon just do not sound right. Also, they shoudl be concerned with the white to blue color changes. You should expect pain, and you do need to take it easy, but you should not be in serious pain every day while you are basically at rest- your medication should address that so that you can be comfortable when you are not active.

as for breathing pain into your neck- are you belly breathing? chest breathing will aggravate your surgical area at this point.

are you traking anything to specifically address inflammation? inflammation in the surgical area will cause as much pain and compression as the original muscles did- it needs to be controlled somehow. If you can't take advil, read up on some of the anti inflammatory diets that are out there now, maybe something will help. Mangosteen juice, omega 3 supplements, etc, many natural foods are supposed to be helpful.

lastly, find something to get yourself out of the house. Even if you just go to the local starbucks for coffee or nail parlorfor a pedicure...it might really help your feelings of frustration

headaches: I went for several cranio-sacral massages to relieve horrible headaches that came after surgery. I felt as though my head was holding on for dear life at the top of my neck. Your surgeon really messed around with all the muscles in your neck, pushing them in several directions that they don't normallygo. The ones that are inserted into the bottom of your head are aggravated and tense!!! The massages really really helped me. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it was the best solution i found. I had my first one a week after surgery the second time because i was expecting the headaches so i went for the massage at teh first sign. ....

I know you are frustrated with financial matters and your kids and yourself...if you remain so, you will hinder your recovery. If you do not get yourself better, your kids will suffer, and your long term financial picture will suffer!!! PLEASE PLEASE try to find some time for yourself to be quiet and relax. A massage might be just the thing for you..or do you have the hypnosis dvd that gibbrn was sending out? You could also just try to work on focused relaxation- lay in a dark room, a candle, some soft relaxing music... you must take time to help yourself relax as much as possible.

As for whether or not the surgery was a success, it will probably take 2 years to know for sure. Scar tissue takes that long to completely form. All you can focus on today is how to make yourself better in the here and now. You will have good days and bad days. Over time, hopefully the good will outweigh the bad, however, EVEN IF THEY DON"T....you can only control what is happening to you in this moment of time and make the best of it. The better you can concentrate on feeling today, the more likely you will continue to feel good tomorrow and the next day.



keep up the good fight

Johanna