STRONG FAMILY: The Camacho family (left to right) Brittney, Danielle, Jessica and Al.


Dying mother hopes to leave lasting gift for children
Ladera Ranch woman dying from Lou Gehrig's disease wants to raise money for her children's education.
By EUGENE W. FIELDS STAFF WRITER


Danielle Camacho is a self-described "Super Mom" who has raised her two daughters to be independent and strong, just like their mother.

Stricken with a neuromuscular disease, the Ladera Ranch resident is spending her final days trying to protect her children's future.

Camacho, 38, is nearing the end of her losing battle with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease. The disease attacks neurons in the brain and spinal cord, at first causing mild muscle problems, but eventually causing total paralysis and death due to loss of respiratory function.

Once an active parent, wife and former cheerleader at Saddleback High School in Santa Ana, Camacho now mumbles softly to her husband Al, or her father Albert Magee, who clarify her words for visitors.

The only reason Camacho has visitors is to do something that she hasn't done for herself and would rather not do at all: Ask for help for daughters, Brittney, 14, and Jessica, 11.

Camacho is seeking financial support so Brittney can continue to attend Santa Margarita Catholic High School and so Jessica can continue to attend Serra Catholic School in Rancho Santa Margarita. Tuition and fees for both schools run about $14,700 a year.

"My kids are suffering enough. They deserve a future like everyone else's kids," Camacho said. "I don't want any help for myself. I want my kids to not be crippled by my illness."

Al is a firefighter with the Los Angeles Fire Department. Danielle said her family needs help to offset Al's loss in pay for staying home with his family.

"As I get sicker, my husband has to work less," she said. "That means less money for school."

Camacho distains talking about her condition, but she tells her story in hopes that people will contribute to her final wish of keeping her daughters in their respective parochial schools.

Jason Glass, owner of Avendale Insurance and a Ladera resident, heard about the family's situation and helped set up a trust fund. He has contributed $1,000 and has pledged more. Glass said he understood Camacho's desire to keep her children in parochial schools.

"She doesn't want the girls to question their faith when the day comes. This is when they need God more than ever," Glass said. "If they moved to a public school, their lives would be disrupted in a big way. And they need to continue with their faith. They need it now more than ever."

Camacho said her health declined quicker than she thought it would. In December, she was able to write a thank-you letter to the PTA boards at her daughters' schools for providing support. Two months later, she is barely able to move her mouth.

"I started getting sick very fast," Camacho said. "Then it became an urgent priority. I thought I had more time than this."

Three years ago, Camacho thought she had all the time in the world. She and Al, her husband of 18 years, decided to have children young.

"We had kids young so we could retire young and still live life," she said.

Her world literally crashed down when she was having drinks with neighbors and fell down.

"I knew for a while that I had something wrong and I didn't tell anyone," Camacho said. "They thought I was drunk."

That Camacho has ALS is something of an anomaly. The disease is more commonly diagnosed in men from ages 40 to 50. The life expectancy is usually 3 to 5 years after being diagnosed, but Camacho said she was at a disadvantage.

"The younger you are, the more aggressive the disease is," she said. "I went from fine to sick in six months."

The day after she learned her condition was terminal, Camacho went shopping.

"I spent $800 on every possible card they would need," she said. "I have cards for their weddings. I have cards for when they have kids. I have cards for if a boy ever breaks their heart. I have cards for when they accidentally hit a car or when their dog dies."

As her body grew weaker, Camacho refused help from friends. Determined PTA and community members have defied her wishes, shuttling the girls back and forth to school and dropping off food three times a week in a cooler on the doorstep.

"I am independent. That is why I don't ask for help," she said. "I don't like having help. I'm stubborn. But they still help."

The stubborn streak runs in her family. Al Camacho said he doesn't like talking about his family with friends and coworkers. "I try to keep it to myself," he said. "They guys at the station ask me about it, but I don't like to talk about it because I break down."

A man who takes pride in taking care of his family and helping others, Al Camacho said his wife's illness has left him feeling powerless.

"It's like a nightmare that you can't get out of. As much as I try to get out of it, I can't," he said. "I go to a fire or somebody got ran over, it's in the back of my mind. I'm helping people here and my wife is home and she needs my help too."

Even though she is a prisoner in her own body, Danielle Camacho showed her mind is still sharp, when she chided her husband.

"I am the most awesome thing in his life. He was lucky to get me," she said. "I used to worry about him and his job. How fair is it that I die and he has money for a Porsche? If insurance was fair, they would give us the money now, so he could stay home."

Camacho also refused to let her children be interviewed or even be present as she told her story.

"I did not want to watch my daughters' faces as they had to translate every painful detail of my painful disease," Camacho said. "I'm trying to keep them close, but push them away to other strong faithful people."

Though she wants her children's faith to flourish, Camacho said she fights to keep hers on a daily basis.

"Honestly, I have to work on it every day," she said. "When I'm alone, it is strong. When I see my kids, I have a hard time."

No matter how much help her family receives, Camacho said her daughters have a responsibility to her.

"They are obligated to everyone who helps them," Camacho said. "They are obligated not to use what happened to their mother as an excuse."

Al Camacho said he didn't know why his wife was afflicted with ALS, but Danielle Camacho described a benefit in her letter to the PTA.

"Although Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS) has taken so much away from me, it has given our family the gift of appreciation. Appreciation of time, friends and family," she wrote. "It has also given me the gift of acceptance, acceptance of help from others, something that has always been difficult for me. I still consider myself a Super Mom, only now I am a Super Mom with ALS."

Contact the writer: 949-454-7308 or efields@ocregister.com

http://www.ocregister.com/news/camac...ease-daughters