*Empathy Man staggers in the front door, wild-eyed, and clutching his jaw*

"Have a nice time at the dentist?"

(mumble, mumble - gurgle, sputter...)

"I made your favorite dinner!"

(too bad ya can't EAT any of it... watch my sincere apology... )

"Sit in this nice comfy arm chair, prop up your feet on this footstool, and rest a bit."

*Evil-Kay slips out, and returns, armed with a vial of rattlesnake venom*

"This will make your lower leg swell up a bit, but don't worry, it's not fatal."

Kay injects venom above right ankle...

"It doesn't hurt, just makes the skin feel tight, and a bit stiff."

*clicketty click, snicketty - snack*

(Suddenly, we hear the ominous sound of steel bands clamping down on EM's wrists and ankles, in order to hold him firmly in place during the administration of our next invisible pseudo-symptom.)

Empathy Man looks left, and sees an IRONING BOARD, laden with TWO steaming-hot irons...

What on EARTH is this dastardly woman plotting now?