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Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 308
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 308
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hmm...
Hi everyone,
Thanks once again for responding.
my neuro is a MS specialist - and he is in a the largest private MS practice in southern california outside of the major universities. he knows his stuff - but he isnt pulling punches.
I think he wrote down SPMS - because he didnt want to put PPMS - which was his thought from the beginning. but we both agreed that it is too soon to know. we just know it's coming on like a blazing fire - and we need to fight it - or rather, im choosing to fight it - and he's on board.
im worried bout me too. the steroids are quite possibly messing with my moods - tho, im not sure i can blame the moods on the steroids. lol. why wouldnt i be messed up?! i dont know if im coming or going.
i know most of you have been down these roads - the shock, fear, unknown, uncertainties, sadness, etc. i swear, it's killing me - this is the part that will take me down - not the frickin MS - but this crap - the big question mark over my head.
i feel useless and inept. havent had an easy life till now - but kept fighting - going for my dreams and goals. not stupid enough to believe that just b/c i wanted something, i'd get - life doesnt work out that way - but at least there was a "carrot" in front of me - and i was going for it...but now? is there a carrot? just an empty string? I dunno. and i know it's too soon to know - but im not good at this...just waiting. it feels like a bomb...ticking - but with no timer. how do u live this way? yeah, i know - u just do - moment to moment, hour to hour....you just do. but how? that isnt really an answer!
Can you imagine how bad of a therapist i am?! LOL no really, i dont practice what i preach, so to speak.
so, like you, im worried about me, too. just trying to make it through - and now just in a holding pattern. tomorrow is last ivsm treatment. will start that new med for fatigue. trying to work a little (2 clients tomorrow?) - hopefully i can see enough to drive myself there. and as for treatment - now i wait to hear from the tysabri people...might be two or so weeks. so i wait. did i mention i hate waiting?!
where's my lil smiley with the white flag already?! rofl
~Keri
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