ellie, don't feel sorry about posting. that is what we are here for.

you have endured so much.

there are resources for free meds. you have a dx. we have posted the links before and i know of members that this has saved them great pain. i'll find the links.

the family stuff stinks. i can't give you advice to fix that. for my own well being, i have absolutly nothing to do with my toxic family. zip zilch nada. i refuse to let them into my or my children's lives. we are all healthier emotionaly. i have no regrets.

your man loves you. he is an adult. he made the choice to love and take care of you. i doubt he will let you leave and make him choose something different.

keep posting ellie. it hurts, but it helps to get it out. you are NOT alone.