I can't say I'm more anxious because of the ASD diagnosis with our boys. I did go see a psychiatrist though--kinda for personal reinforcement that I'm ok. I was treated for bulimia as a teen, had my oldest son at 17, my brother is bipolar, aspergers, and paranoid (my dad and him were frequently violent), in general life sucked growing up r/t my brother in general. My parents did not know how to cope or handle my brother at all. Now my mom has just thrown up her hands and walked out.

When the boys are stressing me out, I have noticed I do have some regression. Esp with the eating issues, I'll go for weeks where I WANT to purge more than anything else in teh world or I just won't eat. I don't sleep well because it seems like once the boys goes to sleep all I can do is worry about is what's next. Then I'm so tired the next day...that old ritalin in the cupboard can look so nice...so it goes down the drain.

What's helped....I'm working 2 days a week at a mental health hospital with children and adolescents. Sometimes it is irritating because I feel like my work and home are so much alike-what's the difference. But it helps, for me, to remember that there are lots of other kids like mine--in our area. It helped me find the community resources in this area, seeing the effects of different meds, learning more behavior modification techniques, physical intervention techniques, and teaching classes about coping skills does help utilize them myself. I am somoewhat scared about going to support groups etc, because what if a patient's parent remebers me. I worry that they'd be offended or something. I think it also helps the hospital also having parents of ASD kids because it helps improve the services offered. My oldest was admitted there before I worked there so I know what things bothered me when I was on the other side of the table, and I've made efforts to try to verbalize changes that need to be made in those areas. I will admit that I am not very open about my homelife with coworkers that I am not familiar with. But the more people I have talked with, I've learned that everyone has a child, sibling, cousin, personal exp, etc. that leads them to like their job. It doesn't pay that well to choose that job without having a passion for it.

I can't say that I am not ill myself, but I am able to cope with my problems without them interfering with my day to day activites. Which according to the psychiatrist lets me be considered "normal."