YOU ARE TRYING TOO HARD. i think that is one source of your problems. We all love you on this forum. You show no signs of memory loss. When anxiety reaches peak zones, forget it for everybody. I just think you were on overload and that is then bipolar really loves it and seizes the opportunity to hit all our insecurities. You just have to ride it out. You have been doing so well that you should expect a lapse. How not to panic when you suffer a lapse is a huge question. My drugs always fail me when I am in panic zone.
That is when especially I try to say my mantra if I can remember to say my mantra.
You will be safe and your memory will find itself.
Fondly
Bobby