Moms are weird. But that's totally amazing that you got to use the "Big Girl" machine. Congrats!
Maybe it would relieve her anxiety if you asked her how she wants you to load the machine?
![Dunno](images/smiliesb/Dunno.gif)
She may have some set pattern she wants you to use. That way she can "supervise" your use of the machine.
Hope you're feeling better soon.