We have been seeing a family councellor, and he keeps repeating that when I got injured the FAMILY got injured. He tries to get me to see hubby's pov. Men are fixers. They cannot fix this so they get angry, sullen and withdrawn. I found that until I acknowleged that this injury hurt my whole family, all we did was fight. Now we seem to be on better ground. We communicate all the time. He knows I hurt, so I try to not mention the pain to him. If I need help with something I just ask for it. I don't say I can't do this because I hurt. He doesn't need to be constantly reminded.
I can honestly say that things are getting better and better for us now that we see each others hurts (not just physical).
It is 17 years tomorrow, so we must be doing something right.
My prayer for you all is to get to that same place in your marriages. Build a strong house on a strong foundation, and not even TOS will rock your world.
Trix