I was so tired yesterday. Blew my happy place.

He is trying to break free. At 18, that is what he is supposed to be doing. And then he hangs on so tight and won't give me seconds' peace. Like he was little again.

He wants to move in with his favorite aunt and uncle. And they have a room for him. This uncle was the only family member on my ex's side of the family that would help me with the kids. When my ex had a transplant, this uncle would watch the boys while I ran their daddy to doctors and dialysis. To the point that Con would call his uncle Mom. Too cute.

His aunt is also bipolar with a very long swing. She is very aware of the ups and downs and also the psychotic element that Wes has. They are all very close and I feel very comfortable with the arrangment. Also, they don't live very far away.

But Wes has to pass his drivers test first and get a full time job because they want him to pay rent. Which is also a wonderful idea. His first steps of becoming independant in a safe enviornment.

I just lost it yesterday cause Con's been really sick and is scaring me. And I just didn't have it in me to be, I dunno, be more than I could at that moment.

The pdoc said give him another shot of Geodon, which didn't happen. He thinks I bent the needle in him last time. lol. I didn't. It just hurt.

And he sees his therapist Monday. So that will help.

Thanks for understanding. It just felt so mean to say. But I guess it's a normal reaction under stress.

My husband is trying to learn more about the psychotic feature of this disorder. He is being very patient and very firm with the boy. Won't give in to his every whim, because if we did that would actually hurt Wes. But he is also loving about it. Good guy.