Dear Sheena,

I am going to try to approach this from another angle purely in the hopes that you might still be able find an amicable resolution to this problem, for your daughter’s sake.

Firstly, I need to vent a little though . . .

That principal is the most ignorant, heartless and uncompassionate human being I've ever heard of. What she did would make me so angry, it scares me to think how I would have responded. All things considered, I think you handled it very well, and I'm so happy you were vindicated by DDS. I am very sorry you had to endure such abuse.

Going back to the day though. . .

I am assuming that the principal believed you were drunk or on drugs, and was worried for the safety of your daughter. Given your physical behavior, and that she (and others) viewed this publically, she really had no choice but to “address” the problem with the best interests of your child in mind. The police and security also would have approached it from this angle, at least initially.

There wouldn’t be many other “logical” reasons for you to fall, fully aware/awake, and not have the strength to get back up. A stroke or heart attack would not effect a person this way, and the answer you provided, “I think I have MS” (at that point you didn’t know), was not very concrete. Bear in mind too, most people don’t understand very much about MS, and would have no idea that if we fall, that doesn’t necessarily mean we can’t drive safely.

As an outsider, and if I saw a parent in your condition trying to pick up their child and drive, I think I’d be very concerned too. I would never be able to forgive myself if I ignored it, especially if I was in authority of the property they were on when that occurred and then something happened after you drove away. I'm sure she was thinking of that, as well as what might happen if others had saw her ignore that situation and let you drive off anyway.

So, initially, I think her intensions were good; get the potentially drugged mom away from the child/other children, and try to assess the situation. At that point, you rightfully became very angry and demanded your child . . . and things continued to escalate.

Everything else that has happened since then is probably part vindictiveness, and part fear of your “unhealthy” presence at their facility (falling, suing, people seeing you in drive off in that condition again, etc).

I have had MS since before my kids were born, and there are times I can not go out in public. They, and their school administration/crossing guards, etc. are all aware of my situation, and when I am not doing well, I either make other arrangements, or my kids meet me at the cross-walk. I would not attempt to get out of the car or go into their school if there was a risk of falling, appearing drunk, etc. I don’t feel this is good for my children to have to witness in public, and I don’t need the public humiliation either.

I had to train my kids on what to do in the event that something goes wrong. If I can’t walk, we have meeting places. If I can walk with a walker, I will use it so people understand I have a disability. If I don’t show up, they have emergency numbers. If I am paralyzed, life still goes on; parcels are delivered, emergencies happen . . . the kids have got to know what to do in the event of any situation.

You are very new to this, and would have had no way to prepare for that particular situation. The school has responded terribly, and they need to be set straight. I would do whatever is necessary to get this “ruling” changed, however, I do think it is going to take some compromise on your side as well. For the good of everyone concerned, you will have to agree that what happened can’t happen again, and that you have a plan in place to ensure that it doesn’t.

Like I said, I would have been so mad that I would have made things much worse then they needed to be. But, unless taking her out of that school/Y is an option, the only way this can be resolved is if there is a compromise. Even if you move her, there still will need to be personal adjustments, or the same thing may very well happen at the next facility.

As far as you being afraid to go in public, this can be rectified by ensuring there are no future misunderstandings such as this one. I carry a disabled photo ID card, I have a disabled parking placard, I keep canes, walkers, etc. in my vehicle. I don’t walk much any more, but when I do I plan to walk safely. This should alleviate most of your fears of being in public.

It’s a crappy disease all around, but you will need to adapt to make the best of it.

Cherie