Aoibheann.

Firsftly young man may i congratulate you for the eliquant way you constructed your first post here, your writing skills . [which you also list in your profile as a hobby are truly visible]

This lead me to an idea and sugesstion for you... Why don't you take the oppotunity to go into hospital for a while, it will give you a place of safet, and also give mom a break and added reassurance you will be supported proffessionaly through this traumatic time in your life.

I attempted Suicide over 15 years ago and sadly i still feel utter remorse for that time, i have since then had repeated depression and continued to experience the dark side now and then. But the idea of beating depression or anxiety is no longer in my head, i just learn to manage it one day at a time....

currently with medication , in the past talk therapies. etc.....

Personal frustration about your condition exhaserbates it....and at times we have to see are life as a circle with us in the centre... occassionaly when your very low... stand outside this circle... and look into your life and see it from another perspectve....

WE ONLY REACH OUR GOALS IN LIFE BY OVERCOMING OUR OBSTACLES.


IF YOU DO HAVE TO GO TO HOSPITAL TAKE PLENTY OF PENS AND PAPER ...WRITE OUT YOUR FEELINGS YOUR THOUGHTS, EVEN YOUR LIFE STORY AS YOU FEEL IT.


You sound like an inteligent young man, with a maturity obove your years. use an situation placed before you as a oppotunity to succeed.
#


And remember YOU MATTER IN THIS WORLD

Dont succum to this cruel illness called depression accept it and MANAGE it and you truly can lead an exciting life ....all be it a bit hairy now and then .... but you'llknow your really alive...


David