My daughter just turned 11, she was 7 when I was injured. She's basically a good kid, good grades, plays piano, sings and in band at school, a Girl Scout,kind-hearted to others and animals, can be quite loving. But the flip side is she's unorganized, room's a disaster so she can't find things, competitive w/ and fiercely jealous of older sister, never picks up after herself without getting on her case.

She's been sensitive and strong-willed since birth. Hated the feel of socks or anything on her feet like footed sleepers, she was always barefoot as an infant no matter how I tried to keep socks and shoes on her. Would hate the feel of various clothes and refuse to get dressed til I threatened to take her to preschool in pj's - and meant it! Loved to watch herself cry in front of the glass oven door, and by 3 would put herself in timeout in her room where she would have a crying fit for 1/2 hour or more - long after she forgot the reason for crying.

She's very bright, was reading before kindergarten, but age-wise the youngest in her class, and emotionally immature. SHe can hold really deep conversations, then throw a fit cause you won't give into a demand this instant! Shows disrespect ALL the time, until called on for it. Apologies are grudging, or dramatic with tears and excuses and 'I hope you still love me, Mommy". She has some good friends but at school often gets a hard time because she is easy to set off, and because she always has the right answer.

I used to be able to deal with her,let her know we love her but keep a firm hand with her. Now she exhausts me and I know I am letting her get away with murder, at the same time I worry I am not there for her like I should be. Some of the acting out is likely pre-adolescence hormones, I know my older daughter went through a thoroughly unlikeable stage before puberty. But I'm worried that if I don't find a way to get a handle on her, we are in for REAL problems with her as a teen. Yet I just DON'T have the energy.

Do you think counseling is appropriate here? Her youth pastor is young and handles jr high, high school and college student groups, don't know how much support she could give, but I haven't asked, either. She has seen the school counselor some dealing with her worries over me and the loss of a pet last year, but she's such a drama queen I can't get a feel for how much she felt a real need to talk vs. just liking being the center of someone's attention.
She does get attention, plenty of it, we just can't make her center stage ALL the time.

How do you cope with such a child when you have chronic pain?

The Bad Mother,
beth

PS - She can turn around the attitude in a heartbeat and be the happiest kid in the whole world, singing, making jokes, giving hugs. It's possible that she's on the edge of the ADD range, but we've always been able to manage her behavior til the last couple of years, when I've really been too tired to fight every battle - it's just constant! And dh is gone from 7 am til 6:30 pm or later most weekdays and some Saturdays, he owns his own business and that's keeping the wolves (barely) from our doors. I'm a preschool teacher , well, I used to be, and don't care for labelling kids or medicating them to make them "behave", so I've never pursued the ADD avenue.....Thoughts?