Vent on good brother

That's why, after about a month here, I love this place. It's a great place
to let your feelings out, get some feedback, do some reassessment of
your life and thoughts; watch, listen, and learn - and, be yourself.

I don't think anyone will take offense at your honesty. Honestly !!

Ultimately, history tells us that we all doubt ourselves, others, and God -

Mother Teresa had her doubts.

Jesus had his "Father, why have you forsaken me?" moment - yet, he still
trusted.

Every quarterback hopes his reciever will catch his pass but - once he lets go of the ball - he is powerless to complete the other end of this transaction.

I have no guarantee that you'll even read this. But, the interaction in and of itself connects me to a faith which hopes that you will. And, in doing so,
will know that someone else cares, someone else heard you, and someone will pray for you - and believes those prayers are not falling on deaf ears but are picked up by all those who have gone before you and me and are with the Father that I hope and pray, each day, is listening.

If the Father does not and even worse, is not, than I am, as the Apostle Paul said, "the biggest of fools."

I'd rather have the foolishness of hope and be right, smiling forever on the other side; than to have worried myself senseless here - thinking that this is all there is.

I have some really good friends who are atheists and do a lot of very good work to get things right here - just because they believe that this is all there is. Even this, though, is an exercise in faith.

And I love them no less.

Keep venting and continue to be yourself is all I can suggest.