It's ok to feel like this Looking (like you don't have a choice) but it's not going to last forever. You need to count your blessings (how I hated that when my husband said it to me after Michael killed himself) But I know that he was right and inspite of all the crap I had a lot to be thankful for.
I know you want more out of life....if not your old job and life, a new and improved one. How to make that happen...how to change your circumstances...those are the questions to ask yourself.
An attitude of graditude....after all you already have a flat butt! *grin
Wallowing in the pain won't change it....I pray that something very positive will come along for you. In the meanwhile you just have to keep on truckin.
And we'll carry you for a bit if that helps.