So sorry about your dilemma. That was a mean thing your 'friends' did, but realize that these types of friends are not the same as all friends.

I'm sure you are feeling very isolated. Illness often makes us feel isolated and envious of those who feel good.

It would be a good idea for you to find a counselor to talk over these problems with.

You've already identified low self esteem and problems with your children, so now find out why this is happening and what (if anything) you can do about it.

Sometimes you just have to let go.

In some ways we (all of us in one way or another) allow this type of thing to undermine our mental health.

Those 'chat' friends have their own issues and some people enjoy making others feel bad or perhaps they need someone to feel lower than they feel?

Hard to say.

Be careful what you tell people. Chat and other posting can be more gossipy than helpful.

You do need someone to talk to. Try to find someone trustworthy. If you can afford counseling that's your best bet to start with.

Good Luck.

Tootsie