{{{{{{{{{{hope}}}}}}}}}}}}
I'm so sorry your in this place,as i have been there too many times myself...
As curios as already said:I'm not sure if i can even begin to scratch the surface of what has been said here to you.
What comes to my mind is:Think of the things you have said to your friend.When he was feelin like this!!
Treat yourself as you would a best friend...
Try and replace ANY negative thought you have throughout the day with a good one!
Even if it's something small.We are what we surround ourselves with.{in other words we all live inside our own heads}Hope that made sense..It will take some practice to change those negative words to positive,but i have faith in you!,but please just try it...

Write it out if you need to.I highly doubt anyone here will slam you for venting and letting go here...
You are in my thoughts and prayers...