Yes, I too have a special online friend who is very loving. We talk on the phone everyday, went send each other gifts through the mail, BUT, I KNOW it can't go anywhere. We have sent pics of each other but, you KNOW when what you have with that person is all it can ever be. A cyber relationship is different than a real life one. It is something different. If you try to change that then you lose what it is. Real life and cyber ARE different. what we have is special for what it is but it can't be something it's not. I realize that and have told him I don't want anymore than what it is. he knows that and doesn't ever bring it up.

Bowling?? Hahahaha, not me. I am in the Mid-West and all they have are the Huge ball bowling. I tried it once and hurt myself and there was some collateral damage to the alley and a few spectators. ROFL. No, bowling is NOT my thing.

I have thought about WHERE I could go and just hang out. I am not the hanging around kind of person though and Dating Services, NAA, just more Meat Market Style. If I met someone that way you KNOW he'd still be doing that even if he said he wasn't. Men who troll those services don't stop. They are always looking for something better and there IS always something better out there just waiting to scoop him up. I just KNOW too much about how men think.

I do Love the water though. I go to the beach a lot during the summer but I always go someplace secluded. I do EVERYTHING that works against meeting people. That's just my nature. Then when I don't meet anyone I can't understand why I am alone all the time. I AM my own worst enemy in that reguard.

I find that the things that just Happen and that aren't planned are the things that change your life. I am a spur of the moment kind of person. Both times I was married, I met the men by chance. Not that they were anything to write home about, they were BOTH abusive drunks after a while.

Thing is I LOVE living alone but sometimes I sort of wish I had someone here. Just to talk to or cook with or watch a movie or go for a walk.

I am an older person, yes, but people are puzzled by the way I look. I don't look or act my age. I don't FELL old. I feel like a teenager inside. I find that IF I am around people my own age then I feel old. Most people my age are or should I say, not their fault, min you, they act like they are about to die. I mean, they are at their doctor's every month. They take all kinds of drugs and seem to be very unhealthy. The more they go to the doctor the more complaints they seem to have. They are always getting surgeries, new hips, new knees, things like that. They seem to be brainwashed into thinking they NEED all these surgeries when they don't just allow nature to heal themselves. I've been told I needed a new knee OR get off it for a year, which I did and it's fine.

See, people have injuries. The doctors take advantage of these times and tell them they need new parts when if they just allowed themselves to heal, it'd be alright. But no, they take pain pills, keep on doing what they were doing, make it worse, reinjure the parts, back for more pain pills, more tests and finally end up in surgery. See, I just won't buy into all that brainwashing.

I know, people don't want to hear this BUT I see people my age all crippled up. Kidneys burned out from drugs, using walkers and canes and it just breaks my heart to see this.