Background...
I have mentioned several times on the old place where I used to post about how hard it is for me to work. I have had people encourage me along the way to start thinking in terms of disability.

My problems (in general) are not mobility - I do have some issues there and now own a cane but for the most part I get around well. My serious problems are memory / cognitive / chronic migraines / exhaustion.

I have reached a point in recent years of making countless mistakes at work, horribly embarrassing mistakes and I have done things that have long since raised eyebrows among my co-workers. In fact, I am now known for having an extremely poor memory and can only imagine what might be said of me that I don't hear.

I posted a few weeks ago about the the database that I overwrote right in the middle of a training session !!!! This was a biggy (in terms of mistakes).

It is so... past time for me to stop working - I know that, I realize it. I don't want to stop working. If I were in the medical field - I would have been forced to stop YEARS ago but thank goodness - I can't kill anybody in a non-medically related database !!!

Now here is the point of this post...
Several weeks ago - I talked to the NP at my Neuro's office about disability and she said "we don't have you diagnosed with anything" and she was very, very discouraging !!!!!

I corrected her and said "I have the following dx - chronic severe migraines, cervical spinal stenosis, Fibromyalgia and probable MS". She was totally focused on the fact that I don't have a definitive MS dx yet and she felt the other dx are not sufficient for disability.

What do I do when I know it is time - I just know - I know in my heart it is time to start the process and yet - the NP was so discouraging that I ended up crying through the entire appointment !!! After my little crying jag - she tried to get me to take more ADs which I don't need. I was having a "moment" but in general - I am rather content considering my situation. I did agree that I will have an LP this summer.

I admit that I fear not working - I have worked so long that I just can't imagine not going off to the office every day. However, it has finally reached the point that my fear of not working is less than my fear of what mistakes I will make and how sick I will be at work.

If you made it this far in reading - BLESS YOU !!!!