Try not to be so hard on yourself, Dawn. The fact that you even applied leads me to believe that somewhere, deep down inside, you recognize a truth that maybe, for now, you are not capable of getting and keeping gainful employment.
Flip it over and consider the other side of the situation. You now have the freedom to pursue corrective measures toward taking back your life. I'm a huge fan of God and believe that He has a great design for each of us. He probably has something in mind for you to do for Him in this new situation.
You do strike me as intelligent, thoughtful, and aware of your circumstances. Coincidence? I think not. I hope you'll find a way to see this new scheme in your life as an opportunity to do something good for yourself and others.