Oh dangit, Char, that does bite the big one. Is this an opportunity for you to make a new start? You are working hard to improve your life, is it possible that this is part of the Master's plan for you?

Please be careful to avoid letting the stress take hold of you, kiddo, it can't help anything. You vent here as often as you need or want to and know that many of us are praying for your answers to come post haste.