Boy, Abbie...
You know that I understand. I've screamed at the top of my lungs in my car once or twice. I've taken a ball down in the basement and threw it against the cement walls venting as I was throwing it as hard as I could. You'd be surprise at the amount of physical release that can have. Psst.. I really am not a maniac, I was taught to do that.
Vent all you want. Give up. Say you don't care. Get mad. Don't apologize for your feelings or your troubles not being bad enough as every one elses. There is no reason to feel guilty about it. It's your hurt and your pain and you have a right to be frustrated and mad at the world if you want.
Ya want to do it together?
Hugs,
Hope