Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi
YOu are being awfully hard on your self.
Please try to not judge yourself.
YOu sound like a wonderful woman and it sounds like you are gaining some insight to the areas that aer of concern.
This is a huge accomplishment!!!!
recognising the areas then consciously making efforts to break the cycles.
This takes a long time to figure this out.
Keep at it...keep talking, the people in your life who love you understand....
keep on keeping on....
fall down 7 times get up 8.
bizi
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I am mainly concerned with how this catches me off-guard- how my percpetions of the world get completely "wonky" and I don't catch it. I really do feel as my mind is not my own at these times. And yes I tend to be too hard on myself, but what I feel when I write these things is "I feel crazy how can I learn to stop it before it happens?" I think this is futile maybe- fixing things before they happen. Ugh.
When i say "I cannot deal with myself this way", I mean that it is literally difficult to be ME- or even IN my body- when I am feeling this way. It is physically exhausting and mentally wonky. I don't mean I don't LIKE myself. I like myself just fine. I just don't have a grasp on reality when these happen.
I talked with a friend of mine. One thing I discovered is that I fear losing those whom I love- maybe even worse, those who love me. Even when they show that they will not leave.