I just don't know what else to say. Wes is in the hospital again.


























I am so frustrated. I am not allowed to do my job. The mommy job. He's an adult now so I can't get info on his progress and have to wait for him to sign a release form so the docs and social workers can talk to me.

I just want him home. But I can't let him come home until we know he's not going to hurt us or himself.

We spent the night in the hospital Monday until the ER could find him a bed. Which finally happened at 3:30 the next afternoon.

I had hoped to have him at least able to advocate for himself in simple ways by the time this rolled around. But he just can't. It's so freaking frustrating. He is so undone. But it makes me feel like I haven't done enough to give him enough tools to be an adult. I know that none of us can be our own advocate when we are in crisis. I do know that. I just wish I could be doing more. I am so used to being his caregiver that I feel like my hands are tied right now.

I feel like a damned soap opera star. I am trying not to be meladramatic I really am. It just comes off that way. It's not the end of the world and he is in a safe place. At least there is that comfort. He is alive. I hope to help him keep going as well. I hope he will let me.