There is some snow, but not much. Enough to make it Christmasy, but it does't last for months and months.
Summers are not too hot or too humid. Longer springs and autumns, please.
Traffic is light. No cloverleaf or multi-lane highway in my neighborhood.
No tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, poisonous snakes, grizzly bears, active volcanoes, alligators, weekly blizzards, flying waterbugs, mountain lions, scorpions, or packs of wolves.
I'm thinking a small city/large town. I'd like to be able to walk to the Post Office, church, somewhere to pick up a loaf of bread and a jug of milk. Public transportation would be nice.
Low crime rate, and low housing cost would also be a plus.
How am I doing? Do you recognize your neighborhood yet as my "dream home", or do you need more details?