It's been a sad day for me today. My furnace has quit working worse yet is the thought that my husband knew how to fix it. I have one I can call on but he isn't answering his phone. I never can get them when I really need them. It's been a rainy dark & gloomy day for me.

I don't feel good and everytime I get up I'm in pain. It's my side where I am to have surgery in 12 days. I really don't want to do it for this to will lay me up even longer. I am selling our country home and moving to town hopefully to better living conitions. I'll have electric heat there plus one gas heater in the living area. I can't move till near the end of the month tho for that is when the closing is.

Things aren't the same without my husband. Our son isn't around here and what family I got, I can't count on them much either. His brother don't care to help me with anything and he lives the closest. He was so close to my husband & when he found out he was dying he just pulled back. He has never
offered to help with nothing around here. They don't call me or nothing.

I too dread Christmas. I feel so all alone. We don't exchange with others, so it will be different.They have big families that come home. If I can I might have them come over here.I will have one big room I could serve food in maybe that is my roll in life now, to make others happy. If I can just get over these two surgeries by then, I don't mind to cook.

It seems I am finding it hard just where I fit into this family. It's my husbands and they are odd to say the least. I was used to a small family setting at Christmas & my husbands family was large and don't buy much, just get together. That is fine with me. I hope I am not moving to soon tho. I was reading a person shouldn't make a move for 6 months. It will be only 3 mos. for me. The memories I can take with me tho. here they are ever to present in this house. is there anyway I could help myself out of this gloom? If I felt better things would be different.
Hugs,
Fancy