I want to say hello everyone and apologize for being away from the forum for so long. I don't know how to describe this, but I get into states of mind where if I start thinking and reading about Parkinson's a lot, then I get totally focused on how "sick" I am. Whereas if I focus on my health, and feeling like a person who can contribute to society without apology, then I tend to define myself more that way.

But then I miss you all, which is bad. So hello all, and happy Spring.

I am doing well, all things considered. I have spent wonderful time in South America this past year, where I immediately feel 75 percent better, and have a hard time remembering to take all my pills...just being in this incredibly beautiful natural environment, and around good people in a healing frame of mind - well, it beats New York City, I have to say.

SO I'm now about 17 years in from my diagnosis. I have recently returned to really dancing again, and will be performing soon in a way that I haven't for at least ten years. I am back at my part-time job teaching dance in a private high school. I still take a lot of meds, and have many thoughts about these, but although I struggle with off periods at times, my on periods are so strong, that my neurologist claims I am "turning back the clock." He says, " give me some numbers to write down here, there's no symptoms for me to record here..." Heartening to hear, even though sometimes just walking can be daunting. But I'm finding that even when I can't walk so well, I can dance.

I have also realized that we are desparately alone with these drugs. They're so new, they don't know what they're really going to do over the long term, how they interact with other stuff, etc. Case in point, Neupro patch which I just titrated fully up to this week, thank you very much......I have been really focused on positive thinking, visualizing, etc. Read Wayne Dyer's books and found them very helpful. I have decided that I - excuse me, dear pharmaceuticals - yes, I am in charge here. The pills are here to help but the hell if they're going to run my life...

I take rhodiola and ginseng and L-carnitine and try and eat organic only, and I think all these things help. Plus every day loving my body, visualizing its healthiest state, considering myself a "normal" person, and not getting too impressed by my symptoms...

I look forward to catching up with you guys a little. Love to all.