I understand about the hope part. The other night I didn't sleep at all. Not for a minute. During that day my feet were fine which usually means I don't need to take a tramadol...so I didn't. As soon as I attempted to go to sleep it started. And it was a different kind of pain in an area I'd not previously had issues with - on the top of my left foot. Very odd kind of pain/tingling. When I'd stretch my toes upward I'd get this pain/tugging sensation in the big toenail. Anyway, I got up the first time and took some Ibuprofen. Didn't want to take a tramadol then because they keep me wide awake. And the object was to be able to sleep. The second time I got back up at 4:00 and took a tramadol. Then I was up for the day. Sigh. During that space of time between getting up the first and second time it really hit me that this is a chronic condition and may never get any better than it currently is. That was depressing. Intellectually I know it's chronic but this was a gut-level knowing, if that makes sense. But I'd hoped for a miracle with the vitamins and such and that's not happening and may not happen. *But*! The pain is much less than it was before starting the vitamins and supplements. So I can't lose hope either.

And then you post or someone else who has things *so* much more dire than I do and it helps put things back into perspective for me. So thanks for that.

It does get tiresome though being in physical distress all the time does it not? Sigh.

And you're right, relapses are hell. But I wonder, if your treatments are doing what they should does that lessen the chance of a relapse? I sure hope so, for you.

One painful step at a time.

BTW: How do I do that as a stickie? Or do I add it to one of the threads already a stickie?

ETA: I posted it in the stickies already there:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread177.html

Hope that was ok.