Mary,
It's really sad to know how you are struggling now. Surely there are resources available to help ease the struggle. Laura Dean, aka Harley, just now posted some of the helpful things she has discovered in the Seattle area that promise to be a big boost to her situation. Similar resources may be within reach there in east Tennessee.

There may be a relocation in your future, although that may not be your preference. It is unlikely that you would be able to bring your beloved Arabians with you to, say, Nashville, but such a sacrifice may be necessary in order to improve your qualilty of life. I think it is more likely that you could find good DBS programmers there, or Birmingham, or Charlotte. It might be worthwhile to try to contact PD patients who have had DBS and who live in those places to find a good programmer.
PM me if you wish.

Robert