I'm so grateful (in a strange sort of way) that I'm not imagining this. In my mind, over the years, I'd begun to think I made this up because my family was home in the evenings and psychologically, I didn't want to be with them. I know that is stupid but you think nutty things when you're in pain. I couldn't really explain it otherwise. I also felt guilty for being a mess in the evenings.

I've tried the med route and scheduling. All I can do is load up on methadone and sit on the heating pad.

Thanks, you guys, for making me appear more normal. I appreciate it.